The pandemic disrupted all our lives and put a lot of things on hold. One of them was our Failure Competition. For several years, we asked students to talk about one of their biggest failures, how they overcame it and what other students could learn from their experience. The pandemic forced us to focus on survival and talking about past failures seemed trivial by comparison. With things returning to “normal” and a few years of post-pandemic experience under our belts, it’s time to bring the competition back. Today, starts our 15th edition.
The competition is designed to destigmatize failure. Everyone fails. It is part of life. Rather than pretend it won’t happen, you should count on it and know what you will do to recover from it. Getting comfortable with failure is a key step in becoming a better risk-taker and successful leader. That is why we celebrate failure and persistence in the college. Entering our competition is simple:
- Write an account of a career-related failure you have experienced in the past. Your failure story has to focus on a time you stepped out of your comfort zone to experience something new: the farther you stepped out of your zone, the better. Tell us why this was such a stretch for you, the failure that resulted and what you learned from the experience that would be of interest to others. It needs to be genuine; people can spot a fish story a mile way.
- While the Failure Competition began with students in our Capstone class, it is now open to any UCF student on campus: undergraduate, graduate or EMBA, business, education, engineering or whatever. The only requirement is that you currently be enrolled at UCF.
- Need inspiration or guidance to tell your story? Search my blog. We have posted many stories about failure over the years.
Here are the ground rules, complete with important deadlines:
To enter, you must post your essay in response to this blog. If you are a Capstone student this semester, include your section number and name of your instructor. If you are not in this class, tell me your class standing (e.g., freshman, senior, graduate student) and your field of study. You must complete this exercise by 5 p.m., on Monday, Oct. 30. Don’t worry if you don’t see your submission posted right away, I have to accept it first.
A panel of college staff will choose no more than three finalists for me to consider. I will select three finalists by Monday, Nov. 5 at 5 p.m.
The finalists will be asked to submit short videos based on their essays. Those videos must be sent to me by 5 p.m. on Monday, Nov. 20.
I will feature one video each day on my blog, starting Nov. 27. Readers will get a chance to vote for their favorite story and determine the winner Friday, Dec. 1.
The winner will get a letter of recommendation from me along with a $500 prize. Second place will get $300, third place $200. These monies are awarded through our financial aid office.
Good Luck!
Paul Jarley, Dean 
Berkeley Lukas
During my high school years, I found myself part of the Marching Band community. Being part of this group came with its fair share of financial responsibilities, from covering travel expenses to competition fees, and to keep the band’s wheels turning, there existed multiple instances of fundraising efforts. One of the most eye-catching opportunities was selling advertisements for the Football Program. Embarking on this fundraising journey during the summer following my freshman year, I had no idea what I was in for. Armed with little more than determination and a lack-luster pitch, I began my door-to-door quest. The initial responses were disheartening, with a string of over fifteen rejections. I felt so distraught, I had pushed myself far out of my comfort zone; I was very shy at the time, and it almost felt like I was running my head into a brick wall. I continued to ask myself, what am I doing wrong?
That’s when fate intervened in the form of an unassuming ice cream shop. As I made my usual pitch, the man behind the counter not only listened but showed a keen interest. He asked if he could share his pitch with me, once in a format that was like mine, and then again with emotion and fervor. His presentation was a game-changer, brimming with enthusiasm for his product and devoid of words like “purchase,” “donation,” and “spend.” Intrigued, I began to feel a genuine connection to the product, thanks to his passionate delivery. His commitment to his ice cream was infectious and inspired me to have a taste, not only of his dessert but also of his approach. This was the pivotal moment when I realized the key to my prior failures.
After helping me refine my pitch and make it more relatable, he revealed the elusive “secret sauce” to success. With a knowing smile, I inquired about this mysterious ingredient, and he leaned in and whispered, “The secret sauce is selling yourself before the product.” It was an epiphany that changed how I looked at sales from then on. He explained that to win people over, I had to convince them that I was not just enthusiastic about my cause but also trustworthy with their money. The key was showing them that my cause was noble, and their support was a worthy investment.
I’ll be honest; it took a few more tries to land my first sale, but with practice and persistence, I gradually mastered the art of conveying my passion and integrity. It wasn’t just about selling advertisements; it was about selling a belief in the cause and a trust in the person standing before them. I became a better advocate, and with time, my success rate soared far past the point I needed financially. In the end, I learned that it wasn’t just about the product or the cause; it was about the person behind it all. I discovered the magic of that “secret sauce,” and it served me well not just in fundraising but in life, as I realized the power of selling yourself first.
Berkeley Lukas
MAN4720H-23Fall 0211, Christopher Leo
During my high school years, I found myself part of the Marching Band community. Being part of this group came with its fair share of financial responsibilities, from covering travel expenses to competition fees, and to keep the band’s wheels turning, there existed multiple instances of fundraising efforts. One of the most eye-catching opportunities was selling advertisements for the Football Program. Embarking on this fundraising journey during the summer following my freshman year, I had no idea what I was in for. Armed with little more than determination and a lack-luster pitch, I began my door-to-door quest. The initial responses were disheartening, with a string of over fifteen rejections. I felt so distraught, I had pushed myself far out of my comfort zone; I was very shy at the time, and it almost felt like I was running my head into a brick wall. I continued to ask myself, what am I doing wrong?
That’s when fate intervened in the form of an unassuming ice cream shop. As I made my usual pitch, the man behind the counter not only listened but showed a keen interest. He asked if he could share his pitch with me, once in a format that was like mine, and then again with emotion and fervor. His presentation was a game-changer, brimming with enthusiasm for his product and devoid of words like “purchase,” “donation,” and “spend.” Intrigued, I began to feel a genuine connection to the product, thanks to his passionate delivery. His commitment to his ice cream was infectious and inspired me to have a taste, not only of his dessert but also of his approach. This was the pivotal moment when I realized the key to my prior failures.
After helping me refine my pitch and make it more relatable, he revealed the elusive “secret sauce” to success. With a knowing smile, I inquired about this mysterious ingredient, and he leaned in and whispered, “The secret sauce is selling yourself before the product.” It was an epiphany that changed how I looked at sales from then on. He explained that to win people over, I had to convince them that I was not just enthusiastic about my cause but also trustworthy with their money. The key was showing them that my cause was noble, and their support was a worthy investment.
I’ll be honest; it took a few more tries to land my first sale, but with practice and persistence, I gradually mastered the art of conveying my passion and integrity. It wasn’t just about selling advertisements; it was about selling a belief in the cause and a trust in the person standing before them. I became a better advocate, and with time, my success rate soared far past the point I needed financially. In the end, I learned that it wasn’t just about the product or the cause; it was about the person behind it all. I discovered the magic of that “secret sauce,” and it served me well not just in fundraising but in life, as I realized the power of selling yourself first.
Zachary Smith
MAN 4720H 0211/0201 (Honors Strategic Management)
Dr. Christopher Leo
My failure was that I did not get an internship I was applying for because I did not pay careful attention to the requirements. During the fall of my sophomore year at UCF, I decided I was going to apply for my first internships for the summer. I searched on Knight Connect, LinkedIn, and Google to find Finance internships in the area that seemed interesting to me. One of the internships I found was at BNY Mellon, and I decided to apply. I researched the company and the position, looking at the description on the website and learning about the company and the role being offered. I filled out the application and wrote the necessary personal statements very carefully, and eventually I submitted my application.
I expected to be considered for the position and hear back from BNY Mellon eventually about the status of my application. I was excited to see if I could get an interview for the position, even though I knew the chances were small and there were many other applicants. However, I never heard back from the company at all, and after a few weeks I started to wonder what was going on. I eventually read over the job description once more only to realize that the position was asking for juniors and seniors, and I was only a sophomore. So, I went through this entire process for nothing and my application was likely just thrown out by the company because of my own inattention to detail. I failed to get the position and wasted a lot of time.
To overcome the failure, I had to get over my disappointment and start researching other positions. Eventually I found another program that was a good fit for me and had a successful summer, but my first attempt at an internship did not go well. I could have avoided the whole situation by just paying more attention to detail and reading the job requirements more closely. This is something I definitely should have done in the first place, and I am lucky that I didn’t get into a situation where I missed some details that could have led to an even worse outcome, like getting an interview and then not knowing things I should know.
I failed because I did not do the proper amount of reading and research about the position before I applied. The information was right in front of me, but I failed to take advantage of it. I could have read the job description more closely to avoid the whole situation, and I felt disappointed when I failed because I wasted my own time and the company’s time by applying for a position that I wasn’t qualified for. This failure helped me grow because it showed me the importance of details. After the failure, I have always made sure to do my research and be completely informed about the position and company I am applying for so that I can draw on the knowledge whenever necessary. I will make sure to be the most informed candidate for my goal position of a financial analyst at JP Morgan, and I will carry this detail-oriented mindset into my career.
So , to summarize, my failure was that I did not get an internship I was applying for because I did not pay careful attention to the requirements. I never heard back from the company (BNY Mellon), and eventually I reread the job description only to realize that the position was asking for juniors and seniors, and I was a sophomore. To overcome the failure, I looked for other programs, and eventually I found one. I could have avoided this whole failure by just paying more attention to detail and reading the job requirements more closely. After the failure, I have always made sure to do my research and be completely informed about the position and company I am applying for. I will make sure to be the most informed candidate for my future positions, and I will carry this detail-oriented mindset into my finance career.
One of my greatest career related failures occurred about 5 months ago at my current internship. Since the end of the spring semester, I have been interning as a sustainment engineer at Lockheed Martin via the College Work Experience Program, also known as CWEP. In this position, I help manage 3 international accounts, which entails a lot of things in itself. Every morning, I must check the order spreadsheet and decide how I will fill the orders that come in for each account. There are two main options to complete this task. The first method is to complete a Purchase Request, which draws money from my account allowance to purchase the part and fill the request. The second method is to loan the part from another account, which will later need to be paid back by purchasing the part. At the point that this story takes place, however, I was unaware of the latter option.
One morning, I open the spreadsheet containing the orders I need to fill and I notice something odd. The part that I am ordering is exceedingly expensive compared to past parts that I have ordered. When I say exceedingly expensive I’m talking over 200 times the average cost of past orders. At the time, I was still relatively new, so while it set of some alarm bells in my mind, I did not want to ask any questions. I had been told that when an order comes in, you do a Purchase Request. I was afraid that if I asked any questions, I would be perceived as someone that does not listen or follow instructions very well. So reluctantly, I went forward with the order without any further questions.
About a week later, I get called back to my supervisor’s office. In the office is the person that I have been working with and getting instructions from. They both look at me somewhat confused before asking if I was the person that put in the purchase request for an expensive part. Of course I say yes, that was in fact me. Thankfully, they were very understanding and kind in their response. They told me that when a part exceeds a certain cost, I should complete a loan instead of a purchase request. I told them that I had a suspicion that something was off but I did not want to ask questions. They immediately respond saying “Never be afraid to ask questions; we are here to help you grow and succeed!” What initially seemed like my worst nightmare quickly became an excellent opportunity to learn and connect with those that I work with.
Fortunately, this story has a happy ending. We were able to cancel the purchase request and I was taught how to complete a loan. This failure turned out to be exactly what I needed to shift my perspective. Prior to this failure I had the misconception that asking questions makes you look “dumb” or “incompetent.” The thought of being perceived this way made me extremely uncomfortable. Now, I frequently ask questions not just in my work environment, but in my academic one as well. This has led to what I would call unprecedented success. I have a significantly better understanding of how to do my job. I have been doing better on tests and assignments by asking questions to clarify topics that confuse me. The moral of this story is don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and ask questions. You gain access to opportunities and learning experiences that you would never have had otherwise; take it from me!
Conall Crossan
MAN 4720H-0211 (87252)
Dr. Christopher Leo
In order to have an effective workout, you have to sweat. If you go into it trying to avoid sweating, you won’t get anything from the workout. The same goes for failure in life. You have to be willing to fail in order to succeed. The goal should be to fail fast, often, and forward. This is the only way to learn and move in the direction you desire.
I’ve had a rocky college experience. I started out as a Computer Science major and did perfectly fine in my classes for the first semester of my Freshman year. The only reason for this, however, was because I had prior programming experience from high school. The following semester, when I was (supposed to be) learning new material, I fell apart. I realize now that I didn’t develop any real study skills in high school so it was impossible for me to keep up with the rigor of the classes. Additionally, I stayed at school the first semester but moved out the second, so I was abusing my newfound freedom.
I ended up having to withdraw from my classes and switch my major. This doesn’t seem like too much of a failure, as many people have had to withdraw from their classes. However, my scholarship required a full-time class schedule and it was revoked. Appeal after appeal, I never was able to recover it. This scholarship was how I had planned to pay for my living expenses throughout college.
At the time, I decided I was going to double major in Video Game Design and Management. I wanted to preserve my passion for coding by making video games. Not only did I change my major, but I also decided that the path for me to take was to start a Video Game Studio based around skateboarding. Without any prior business experience or knowledge, I thought it was fine to throw my money at things as a business experience. I’m sure it’s easy to imagine I ran out of funds fairly quickly.
So not only did I lose a surmountable amount of money from the revocation of my scholarship, but I also depleted what I had left over into the business. I posted everywhere on social media that I was starting a business. I even met with friends’ parents who were business owners to learn what I could from them. After the business failed, I was in a constant state of embarrassment.
That was a really tough summer for me mentally. I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life and felt like all the work I’d have to put in to be successful was not worth it. I didn’t want to get a job, didn’t want to go back to school, and didn’t want to have any healthy lifestyle practices.
But through my connections, I was able to attain a pretty good job at Addition Financial as a Relationship Advisor. I ran for President of the Water Polo Club team and got it. I went out to recruitment for Delta Sigma Pi the professional business fraternity, and made it through its selective process. This was the turning point for me. By surrounding myself with motivated and hardworking individuals, I was shaped into the same.
Over the next couple of semesters, I continued searching for what I wanted to do with my career. Working at Additional Financial gave me an appreciation for finance, but it also made me realize the need for innovation in the industry. I found the FinTech minor and knew it was perfect for making a change to the industry. It also meant that my effort from my terrible Freshman year wasn’t all for nothing. In fact, I had to retake one of the classes that I failed, CS1, and I managed to get an A this time around.
Now, I am finishing up a degree in Economics with a minor in FinTech. Even though it was really hard without a Computer Science degree, I got a job doing software development for a local startup. I plan to continue doing software development until I can use my experience from my degree and in the workforce to give another go at starting a business. This time I’ll have an idea about best practices and won’t let my starting funds go as easily. I know the basics of accounting, finance, marketing, and management which will be very useful.
If I didn’t fail out of Computer Science, I wouldn’t have found FinTech and DSP and all of the other wonderful things the College of Business has brought me. If I didn’t lose my scholarship, I wouldn’t have worked while going to school as much as I did, and I wouldn’t have the work ethic I do now. If I hadn’t failed that first business when it didn’t matter, I wouldn’t have had a chance at succeeding in my first actual business post-college. If I were graduating with a Computer Science degree, I wouldn’t have had to try so hard to land a software developer job.
Failures and hardship are the only ways to progress in life. The worse the failure, the greater the benefit. Therefore, I’m grateful for my terrible Freshman year, and I’m looking forward to the next big failure.
Soumya Sharma
MAN4720H-23Fall 0211, Christopher Leo
At the beginning of my current internship, I wanted to make a good impression and be as helpful as possible. To achieve this, I started saying “yes” to everything and even asked for more on top of it. I would say “yes” to projects and tasks that I didn’t fully understand and wasn’t sure if I could tackle on my own. I was afraid to ask for help even though everyone was willing to help because I didn’t want to seem like I couldn’t handle it.
The internship started in summer so I was able to focus on it solely as I had the determination to prove myself. However, when the fall semester started, I had other responsibilities as well. I had classes, another part-time job, a new relationship, and a social life that I didn’t want to sacrifice. However, I was afraid that if I said “no” to a project or asked for help, I would come across as incapable. As the work and pressure started to pile up in every aspect of my life, I was struggling immensely trying to juggle everything. My work was getting sloppier and my attention to detail was slipping. I was also constantly stressed and couldn’t catch a break. One of my classes that semester was “The How of Happiness” with professor Sybil St. Claire. Through all the reflection and soul-searching enabled by that class, I realized it was time to make some changes.
With this new mindset, I started asking for help when needed and saying “no” when my plate was full at the internship. And shockingly, nothing bad happened! My colleagues were glad to help and share their knowledge. This improved my work while also helping me expand my skill set, making me a better team member. While asking for help definitely took a lot of pressure off, I also had to make a tough call to cut down on hours at my part-time job even though I truly loved being at that job. But I had to prioritize myself. Luckily, I was able to make these changes before anything super drastic or bad happened. In turn, the quality of my work got better and I was able to focus more on my classes before finals and everything turned out okay.
I was able to realize my extreme “yes” mentality was caused by my constant need to excel but it was unsustainable. If I had continued that way, I would’ve made so many more mistakes and burned out really fast. I learned that growth comes from more than just weathering tough challenges, it also comes from self-awareness and courage. My failure to create that balance at the start of my internship was valuable as it taught me that even though it is great to challenge yourself and push your limits, it is equally important to learn when to say “no” and maintain a good work-life balance. This experience has made me a better intern and a happier person and I will be carrying this lesson with me throughout the rest of my life.
Jonathan Beck
MAN4720H-23Fall 0211, Christopher Leo
Unwritten Pages: Lessons I Learned from the Failed Launch of a Student Magazine
It was a warm day in my room as the spring semester came to a close during my senior year at UCF. I waited with great anticipation as Zoom began logging me into a virtual meeting with a bright student.
“Hi, Jonathan! Can you hear me?” The AirPods came to life with Kendal Asberry’s voice, a family friend from my childhood, and now a rising freshman focused on journalism at the University.
“Yes, I can! Can you hear me as well?” I replied excitedly, relieved to see our first meeting had begun without technical troubles. Over the next hour and a half, we discussed the vision for a new student magazine. It was to be built around celebrating the impressive achievements of talented students and alumni at the University of Central Florida, featuring full articles and interviews about their work, solutions, and visions for a better world.
As the fall semester began, we found ourselves every Wednesday at 5 p.m., planning this ambitious venture over warm tea at “Barnie’s,” the beautiful coffee shop at the old entrance of our library. We began by discussing the value we could provide to the university and students, aiming to set ourselves apart from both the official collegiate magazine “The Pegasus” and other student magazines on campus. Our initial idea was a bit too broad.
A few weeks later, the “Royal Courier” began to take shape. A student magazine covering UCF’s academic stars, the development of our Power 5 sports programs, and the ‘who’s who’ of the student body emerged from a whirlwind of ideas. As the steam rose from our cups in the evening sunlight, the intensity of researching the critical process to bring the full vision to life grew.
We discovered potential officer positions and the staff they would lead, developed story workflows, determined optimal publishing frequencies, and found professors in the College of Journalism interested in becoming our faculty sponsor. Whiteboards were filled, notes were documented, and action began to be taken. The coffee table transformed into a strategy board, and decisions were guided by words, much like hands moving pieces across a chessboard battlefield.
Similar to the ancient game, timing slowly revealed our faults — missed opportunities, deadlines, and the complexity of recruiting beyond our experience and scope became catalysts for failure. A magazine is a beautiful interwoven fabric of traditional business structure and creative management. Having unique needs in both fields, this organization demanded exceptionally specialized skills and corresponding student talent.
Although Kendal had a focus on journalism studies, she needed at least another full year of general classes and prerequisites before being accepted into her chosen major. My major in Integrated Business, in the beginning, helped bridge the gap between communication and business, providing insight into applying business theory to create value and form a strong foundation with meticulous planning for the organization to scale.
However, without experience or a full understanding of the intricate framework of an editorial value chain, the overall process became unrealistic given the current time restrictions. The scope expanded beyond our current horizon of knowledge. We decided to end the venture for the moment and watched the light fade across the gleaming reflection pond, a glowing glimmer of hope for the project, as the sun set, a comforting reminder of a sunrise in the future.
These experiences in failure were invaluable. They taught me the importance of setting achievable goals, sharpened my understanding of time and efficiency, showed me the power of delegation, emphasized the significance of recruiting diverse officers early in the brainstorming process, and, most importantly, highlighted the organizational keystone of people and serving their needs.
I applied the lessons I learned to successfully launch two student organizations: Knights Order, a collaboration incubator with a mission to provide intellectual cross-pollination between the silos of the thirteen colleges at UCF, and The Heralds, a public speaking organization designed to help students from all areas of focus master the art of communicating ideas and data to others.
Together, we created organizations that not only impacted the University of Central Florida but also extended their reach into society and beyond. The journey from the failed launch of “Royal Courier” to the success of Knights Order and The Heralds was not just a tale of transformation but a testament to the enduring spirit of resilience, adaptability, and the unwavering belief in the power of collective effort.
As I reflect on this journey, I am reminded that every challenge, every setback, and every failure is a stepping stone toward growth and innovation. It is not the absence of failures that defines us but how we rise from them, armed with newfound wisdom and determination. The unwritten pages of our lives are not just about the stories we tell but also about the lessons we learn, making each chapter a valuable contribution to the narrative of our personal and collective evolution.
Thank you Kendal, leadership teams, and UCF faculty for an adventure of a life time.
MAN 4720H Section 0211/0201 with Dr. Christopher Leo
One of my greatest career related failures occurred about 5 months ago at my current internship. Since the end of the spring semester, I have been interning as a sustainment engineer at Lockheed Martin via the College Work Experience Program, also known as CWEP. In this position, I help manage 3 international accounts, which entails a lot of things in itself. Every morning, I must check the order spreadsheet and decide how I will fill the orders that come in for each account. There are two main options to complete this task. The first method is to complete a Purchase Request, which draws money from my account allowance to purchase the part and fill the request. The second method is to loan the part from another account, which will later need to be paid back by purchasing the part. At the point that this story takes place, however, I was unaware of the latter option.
One morning I open the spreadsheet containing the orders I need to fill and I notice something odd. The part that I am ordering is exceedingly expensive compared to past parts that I have ordered. When I say exceedingly expensive I’m talking over 200 times the average cost of past orders. At the time, I was still relatively new, so while it set of some alarm bells in my mind, I did not want to ask any questions. I had been told that when an order comes in, you do a Purchase Request. I was afraid that if I asked any questions, I would be perceived as someone that does not listen or follow instructions very well. So reluctantly, I went forward with the order without any further questions.
About a week later, I get called back to my supervisor’s office. In the office is the person that I have been working with and getting instructions from. They both look at me somewhat confused before asking if I was the person that put in the purchase request for an expensive part. Of course I say yes, that was in fact me. Thankfully, they were very understanding and kind in their response. They told me that when a part exceeds a certain cost, I should complete a loan instead of a purchase request. I told them that I had a suspicion that something was off but I did not want to ask questions. They immediately respond saying “Never be afraid to ask questions; we are here to help you grow and succeed!” What initially seemed like my worst nightmare quickly became an excellent opportunity to learn and connect with those that I work with.
Fortunately, this story has a happy ending. We were able to cancel the purchase request and I was taught how to complete a loan. This failure turned out to be exactly what I needed to shift my perspective. Prior to this failure I had the misconception that asking questions makes you look “dumb” or “incompetent.” The thought of being perceived this way made me extremely uncomfortable. Now, I frequently ask questions not just in my work environment, but in my academic one as well. This has led to what I would call unprecedented success. I have a significantly better understanding of how to do my job. I have been doing better on tests and assignments by asking questions to clarify topics that confuse me. The moral of this story is don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and ask questions. You gain access to opportunities and learning experiences that you would never have had otherwise; take it from me!
Mikaela Kwan
MAN4720H-23 Fall 0211, Christopher Leo
In Fall 2022, I applied to a consulting internship position with one of the Big 4 Accounting firms (PwC, Deloitte, KPMG, and E&Y). I had spoken to recruiters from each of these firms at The Invitational, as well as through LinkedIn and email. After learning about the core values and firm culture of each of these firms, one firm stood out to me, and I decided to apply to their Summer 2023 Consulting Internship.
As someone who struggles with impostor syndrome on the daily, I felt that my experience was inadequate for the position, and I wasn’t confident that I would move on to the next step of the application process. However, to my surprise, I was sent an offer to interview for this firm. Although having several past internship experiences, this was my first classic, textbook-definition interview with a firm. I over-prepared for these (two) interviews, using the guidance of my professors, mentors, and peers. The interviews went extremely well, but my imposter syndrome still nagged me in the back of my mind, trying to convince me that I was not going to get offered the position.
But a few weeks after my interviews, I got a call from one of my interviewers that I was offered the position! This offer was even in my first-choice location: Washington D.C. I was absolutely ecstatic to have been offered such an amazing, unique opportunity, and I was determined to do my best to prepare for the internship before Summer 2023 rolled around. After all, this was my dream company to work for!
When the summer did arrive, I packed up a few months worth of my belongings, and took the 14-hour drive north. Once I arrived in the Capital, my excitement grew exponentially as I moved into my apartment, got settled, and explored the city. Finally, my first day on the job arrived on June 5th. I walked to the office, which sat on the top floors of a beautiful, contemporary glass building, and was given my badge, along with the other interns.
As the internship commenced, I was placed in a team with other interns, and we were tasked with a client case. Throughout the summer, we were to research the organization of interest, and devise a strategic recommendation in order to enhance their performance to achieve their mission and vision. Between this work, I was setting up informational interviews and coffee chats – almost daily – with the firm’s employees, in order to learn more about the firm, its employees, and the employees’ individual wisdom through their life experiences.
During the first two weeks, I was absolutely thriving. I went to the office almost every day, met new employees and fellow interns, explored the city, and went to a plethora of company-sponsored events. I was having such a good time and was feeling extremely fulfilled with my accomplishments and the phenomenal opportunity that I had worked so hard for. But, this did not last long for me. (Content warning: mentions of mental health).
Unfortunately, I am someone who has struggled my entire life with severe depression and anxiety. For those who have (unfortunately) had experiences with mental health issues, they know that it can sometimes hit you out of nowhere – no matter how well your life seems to be going, or how wonderful the environment around you is.
As the days went on, I found it harder and harder to take care of myself. Harder to get out of bed, harder to eat, and – nearly impossible to go to the office, interact with my peers and supervisors, or do any work at all. But this was such an amazing opportunity with such a prestigious company; if I could just push through a little more, and do well on the client project, I had a chance to be given a full-offer with my dream company. I had my chance to get to The One. I desperately tried to just take it day-by-day, and tried to push myself a little more. I had dealt with issues such as this in the past, and I could deal with it now. It got to the point where I could barely function, and had to call out of work for a whole week on sick leave.
I called my family almost daily, trying to get a grasp of my symptoms so that I could finish the internship strong. But, every day got worse for me, and my symptoms became overwhelming.
Finally, I made the gut-wrenching decision to let go of this opportunity, and step away from the internship for my own health and wellbeing. I informed my peers and supervisors of my decision, and made my way back home to Florida to receive support and treatment.
I know that this competition is a “failure” competition, and although I initially saw this as a complete failure, the more I think about it, the less that I think it is one. I wanted to communicate this story not to garner sympathy, but to try and reach others who deal with similar issues, and let them know that they are not alone in their struggles. As I mentioned before, it was completely heartbreaking to me to have to step away from this internship with my DREAM company. But ultimately, I had to put my health first. This may be seen as a failure in some people’s eyes, but I see it as an opportunity to be kinder to myself, to help myself grow, and to also support others who deal with similar issues. Know that you are not alone, and that your health matters first.
Ritiga Ravichandran
MAN4720-23Fall 0012 (Strategic Management)
Dr. Christopher Leo, Dr. Lonny Butcher
When you think of Failure, what comes to mind? Is it a time you didn’t make it to the finals of a competition, or maybe you just missed a few points of your final exam, making your grade go from an A to a B, or even you felt, in your gut, that you didn’t try enough, maybe just didn’t know how to? I have felt all of the above, and much more through my time in school and experiences within the work environment.
To begin my most recent and profound experience, I received a message from a recruiter about a Merchandising Internship opportunity this summer at Walmart Headquarters. Before this, I had applied to a few companies across the board, but did not hear back. So, I decided to take a chance and apply. I was accepted into the next round and went through the interview process. Few weeks later, I was given an offer to travel to Bentonville, AR and intern with the Alaska + Hawaii Merchandising Team. The team, comprised of just 24 members (including myself) was responsible for 97 departments’ worth of product at Walmart, with a total 18 stores across both states. It was safe to say, they had a lot on their plate, and a lot in store for me. I was the first intern they had in over 7 years, and many of my fellow interns in Merchandising were only responsible for 1 department, example: Dairy, or Furniture. I however would be overseeing data from all 97 departments, so I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. After introductions with the team my first week, I learnt that everyone had been an associate at Walmart for at least 20 years, pretty much my age, so they were experienced with their craft, and fluent with the Walmart terminology. I could slowly see myself getting into a shell. How was a supposed to make a name for myself here, prove that I had the potential to make a different when there were others that had much more to offer? And when I was given my project, it seemed, vague, broad, and I hadn’t had the slightest idea where to start.
What I did know was that I had to be a go-getter, and it was time to prove that I had what it takes to succeed to the team, that relied on me to help with important pieces of the puzzle they were trying to solve.
I started to email teams across the Walmart office, from Inventory Health and Project Stores, Internal Logic teams to try to understand the current situation, steps that were taken, and what needed to be done. I did this for the first 3 weeks of my internship, and I wasn’t getting anywhere. I didn’t have the answers I needed to take this project forward. I felt as though I failed, while my peers were excelling and much more ahead with their projects, and the pressuring of working within the walls of a Fortune 1 Company were coming in. I relayed my concerns at my weekly check in with my direct report, the Sr. Director of the team, about what was happening and why this project would take much longer to get to the deliverable. She suggested a look into another pressing issue of the team, unrelated to what I had been working on the entire time.
This threw me in for a loop. Were all the efforts I put in going to be for nothing?
But after taking in what was told to me, “You have given us a lot of insight on what we initially though were big problems in our supply chain”, I felt better about the position I was in. I had to switch gears, quickly gather data with the help of another team member and start working on a more cost effective and fulfilling solution with the time I had left. Before I knew it, I was compiling all of my findings together, and about to present in front of Senior Leadership, including the SVP. It went by smoothly, and I felt confident with my answers, receiving positive feedback and a big high five from my Sr. Director.
So, the biggest “failure”, was not believing in myself. I had the capability to thrive in a brand new, challenging environment but felt like I couldn’t. The obstacles I had to overcome to get to a great end-product was because of my determination to not give up, especially in a high stakes’ situation. I took the problem into an opportunity to learn, and now I know more about Alaska and Hawaii supply chain than I ever thought I would! Success is what you bring to the table, after everything has happened along the way. With that mind, I had overcome the “failures” and succeeded.