Dear Santa

I know I am writing very late, but I wasn’t sure there would be a Christmas this year. Now that we have survived the History Channel’s interpretation of the Mayan calendar, I do have a few requests. Because I love all my children the same, I offer this list in no particular order:

Sean would like five new academically qualified accounting faculty. He would prefer that they be willing to teach thirty sections a year while publishing madly. Reaccreditation would be nice too.

Economics would like to fill the Crotty Chair, but realizes there are always opportunity costs. They would prefer that those costs be shifted onto someone you deem naughty, rather than nice.

Tony would like a trading floor. Does Milton Bradley make these?

Lap Daddy, a term of student endearment I just learned via twitter, would like less to do. This has nothing to do with his energy level and everything to do with the size of the challenge he sees before him.

Cameron would like this year’s winner of the Joust to strike it rich, give us lots of money and name the Entrepreneurship Center. Perhaps you could buy lots of button covers from Alex? They would make great stocking stuffers.

Rob, Pradeep and Steve want someone who can teach measurement, survey research and structural equation modeling to our Ph.D. students. They promise they won’t monopolize this person’s time with their own methodological issues (wink).

Lonny wants jobs for MBA students or chicken gumbo. Ah, chicken gumbo.

Jim would like to double the number of business students and faculty who participate in the honors in the major program. Alvin would think this is cool too. It is a two for one gift.

Taylor just wants something that requires less duct tape than Integrity. Eight thousand students agree with him. We have patched that system enough.

Tiffany would like a successful 50th Anniversary event complete with 350 attendees. She doesn’t need this until Feb. 15th, so no rush.

Foard just wants money. He would like our recurring budget restored to 2006 levels. If that isn’t possible, could we at least get our share of the $50 million UCF lost this year back? He is willing to accept tens and twenties.

If you have time after the holiday, the Marketing Department would like to invite you to give a lecture on your supply chain management system. I am sure we could provide you with a full house and you might enjoy the break from the cold. Tweet me some times that would work.

In the meantime, Anne Marie will have milk and cookies waiting for you.

Happy Holidays

P.S. if it is not too much trouble, could you also get President Hitt a stable conference for UCF athletics?


3 thoughts on “Dear Santa

  1. Thank you Santa Jarley. It is so wonderful to know you are always listening! We may just get a Christmas miracle in 2013!

  2. Hey Santa, I know you already made your rounds, but if you help hook our students up, I CAN have that gumbo delivered to the North Pole. Just sayin…

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